Time itself does not heal emotional wounds
what is that relationship how is that wound being formed internally as you said trauma is not what happens to youit’s what happens inside of you that which is happening inside of you what is happening with that wound overtime when it’s left what happens is that it may be lie dormant for a long time and then something occurs that touchesit is when we talk about people being triggered for example something touches the none who will do one inside you andyou react you’ve just been wounded for the first time and certainly I can tell you that’s been the case for me for example in mymarriage relationship is that the the unhealed wounds you may think you’ve gone past them but then something willhappen that touches that wound and you react like you’re being tormented all over againfor the first time and time does not automatically heal time maybe scars itover time maybe makes it less available to immediate memory but should somethinghappen to evoke it it’s going to show up in its full painful impact until you do somework to heal time by itself does not heal not not spontaneously not um automatically how do we uncover thosebecause I feel that and and maybe this is something to address it’s that at least what I find is that a lot of ourbeliefs that we have about ourselves and about others are wired to try and make us feelsafe to some degree so I believe and I’m hypothetically saying this I believethat I am right in my opinion because that makes me feel safe and and securebut often to unearth a wound we have to be okay with the vulnerability of saying well maybe I’m not right maybe thisresponse is coming from some wound that I gain in the past so for example whenyou were speaking about your marriage you sparked something for me I found that a lot of the love I received when Iwas younger Was Then followed by guilt so when I received love when I wasyounger the idea was if I couldn’t reciprocate with that level of Love I’dbe made to feel guilty that I didn’t love someone enough and I found that I would repeat that inmy own relationship with my wife where I would over love and if she didn’t match that level oflove I would then make her feel guilty and it took me years to really discoverthat pattern and that’s just one tiny pattern and whether that’s trauma or difficult experiences a differentconversation but the idea that spotting that pattern only came from me saying well maybe I’m wrong maybe me wanting tomake someone feel guilty is not the right thing how do we assess that how do we gain the
